"I got into teaching to teach, not to raise people's kids for them."
"That would work great if we could just get the parents on board."
"I just wish we could get all of the parents to wake up and realize that if they keep doing what they're doing then their kid is going to turn out exactly like them."
"Wouldn't it be nice if we could pass a law making it illegal to breed if you don't pass a parenting test first?"
Honestly I tend to agree with most of these statements. My entire teaching career I've had an adversarial relationship with (most) of the parents I've dealt with.
That said, I have to stop and realize that most of the parents we complain about (the ones who don't show up for conferences, don't discipline, fight IEPs, and come to school wearing those stupid T-shirts from Wal-Mart that say things like "It's funny how you think I'm listening") were just about the right age to have gotten out of public school just before the recent accountability movements got underway. For all of our complaints I do think that in general we are doing better for our kids as a whole now than we did prior to NCLB. Heavy accountability, as much as it restricts us, also prevents teachers from ignoring the problem kids in their class and putting them in a corner until the year is out.
So we're trying to help kids whose parents were failed by the system. Naturally they will be skeptical about the system. The way to reach them will involve recognizing their point of view and trying to help them see ours. The problem is that after a long day of teaching it's hard to be open-minded with a jerk parent with worse manners then your students.
The Primary Years Programme that we have at Iduma promotes connections with the community as part of the curriculum but we always had a very hard time getting parents to show up to informational meetings or contribute when we had lessons about family backgrounds and culture.
I guess it will be a long road to getting the support of parents who were failed by their own schooling. But our approach must be at least 2-tiered: One, communicate openly and effectively with parents (keeping our own frustrations out of the equation as much as possible). Two, do our best not to fail our current students so that when they are parents they'll come to us with better memories and desire to be a part of what we do for their kids.
Very well put Peter. Even when I am getting chewed out by a parent and think how easy it would be to just give in to their request I think what type of lesson is the child learning.
ReplyDeleteI don't know that parents were necessarily failed by their schools. Many of them are angry at the world in general. Life is difficult when you lack the skills to cope. I can't say why some parents have a chip on their shoulders, but I believe it is our job to try and smooth out that chip. I think we need to start thinking of ourselves more like car dealers. We have to find ways to connect with our students' parents and sometimes it takes a great deal of finesse just like a car dealer uses when trying to get us to buy a car we know we don't need. In the end our students' success is what is important. We have to put aside our opinions and try our best to get parents to see how vital they are in the education process.
ReplyDeleteI read some place (smile) that parents are sometimes disenfranchised as well. Perhaps they are intimidated by the system or they lack the communication skills and or understanding what it takes for their child to succeed. I know, guys we have educate the parent and the student as well.
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